It’s Not You, It’s Your Emails: Breaking Up with Bad School Communication Habits

Welcome to CEL’s new relationship column, where we translate mixed signals and mismatched messages. Let’s skip the awkward small talk and jump in for a lighthearted look at how classic dating faux pas also show up in school communication.

Here’s what to watch for (and how to break the habit):

Ghosting

• Dating version: They disappear after a promising first date.
  
• School comms version: Announcing a big change… and then never mentioning it again. Or worse, implementing it without telling parents until afterward.
  
• Fix: Show up. Even a short “we’re still working on it” message is better than silence.

Breadcrumbing

• Dating version: Sending the occasional “hey” text but never committing.
• School comms version: Dropping vague hints (“Big changes coming soon!”) without real details families can act on.
• Fix: Be direct. If families need to prepare, give them the who/what/when/where.

Mixed Signals

• Dating version: “I really like you… but I’m not ready for a relationship.”
  
• School comms version: “We want your input” — followed by a decision that’s already final.
  
• Fix: If you’re informing, say so. If you’re inviting feedback, make it clear how (and when) that input matters.

Love Bombing

• Dating version: Showering someone with attention and promises, then disappearing.
  
• School comms version: Six urgent emails in one week… then nothing for a month.
  
• Fix: Keep communication steady and predictable. Parents don’t need a flood, just a rhythm.

Benching

• Dating version: Keeping someone on the sidelines “just in case.”
• School comms version: Families hearing about a program or opportunity long after it’s full…or too soon to think it over.
• Fix: Prioritize sharing info when parents can actually use it — not after the fact.

Catfishing

• Dating: Pretending to be someone you’re not.
• School comms: Overpromising programs, supports, or timelines… only for families to discover the reality doesn’t match the message.
• Fix: Be authentic. Be honest.

The Slow Fade

• Dating: They text less and less until it just fizzles.
  
• School comms: A district initiative that gets less airtime each month until no one knows what happened to it.
• Fix: Close the loop. If something ends, say it.

The “It’s Not You, It’s Me”

• Dating: Ending things with a cliché cop-out.
  
• School comms: Using boilerplate language that dodges responsibility or avoids clarity. (“We regret any inconvenience…”)
• Fix: Own it. Be transparent and specific.

The Mixed-Platform Shuffle

• Dating: Texting on three different apps, none of them consistently.
  
• School comms: Some updates go to email, others to social, others to paper flyers — with no overlap. Families never know where to look.
  
• Fix: Pick a few reliable channels and be consistent.

The Ghost Text

• Dating: They send a message at 11 p.m. three weeks later like they haven’t been silent for weeks.
  
• School comms: An out-of-the-blue reminder the night before an event families didn’t even know was happening.
  
• Fix: Communicate early, and remind often. Surprises aren’t romantic in this context. Homecoming dress-up days occur every year, so why are families only finding out they need to buy a flannel shirt the Sunday night before Spirit Week? That’s on you.

Relationships thrive on trust.

So does school communication. Families don’t expect perfection, but they do expect honesty, clarity, and follow-through. Break up with bad communication habits, and you’ll win something far better than a second date—lasting trust with your community.